My Self-Care Philosophy: Make Self-Care a Habit

My philosophy is simple:

Make self-care a habit.

Not something we do only when we are exhausted.

Not something we earn after everyone else has been looked after.

Not something that has to involve expensive spa days, candles, bubble baths or a weekend away.

Self-care is much bigger than that.

For me, self-care is about learning how to look after yourself, understanding what you need, and finding simple things that support your physical, mental and emotional wellbeing.

And then, importantly, doing them regularly.

That is where the habit comes in.

But over time, I have come to realise that making self-care a habit is about much more than simply adding a few nice things to your day.

For me, it is the beginning of a much bigger journey:

 

Make Self-Care a Habit.

Self-Care becomes Self-Love.

And from there, Self-Development Happens.

 

This is at the heart of everything I believe about self-care.

 

So, what exactly is my job?

I sometimes think of myself as a self-care explorer!

My job is to explore the many different practices, ideas and habits that can help us look after ourselves.

I am curious about them.

I try them.

I research them.

I learn about them.

And then I share what I discover.

Because there are SO many ways to practice self-care.

Meditation.

Breathing exercises.

Gratitude.

Journaling.

Getting out into nature.

Mindfulness.

Movement.

Rest.

Sleep.

Boundaries.

Creativity.

Connection.

Time alone.

Affirmations.

Forgiveness.

Being kind to yourself.

Spending time by the sea.

Getting your feet on the ground.

Listening to music.

Reading a book.

Doing absolutely nothing!

And that’s just the beginning.

There isn’t one magical self-care practice that works for everyone.

We are all different.

What makes one person feel calm might make another person restless. What gives one person energy might feel like hard work to someone else.

So I don’t believe self-care should be a rigid list of things we should be doing.

I believe it is about exploration.

 

I don’t have all the answers

And I don’t pretend that I do.

I am constantly learning.

There are practices I have tried and loved. There are things that didn’t work for me at all. There are things I keep coming back to, and others that I might try once and never do again.

And that’s okay.

Self-care isn’t about getting it right.

It’s about becoming more aware of yourself.

What do I need today?

That’s one of the most important questions we can learn to ask.

Sometimes the answer might be a walk.

Sometimes it might be a nap.

Sometimes it might be saying no.

Sometimes it might be getting outside.

Sometimes it might be talking to someone.

And sometimes, honestly, it might be chocolate and an early night! 

The point is to start listening.

Because self-care starts with noticing ourselves and meeting our needs.

And this is where the first part of my philosophy begins.

Stage One: Make Self-Care a Habit

This is where we start.

Self-care is not just about knowing what might be good for us. It is about actually doing something with that knowledge.

We can know that we need more rest.

We can know that breathing exercises help us.

We can know that getting outside makes us feel better.

We can know that journaling helps us clear our heads.

But knowing isn’t necessarily enough.

We have to practice it.

And then practice it again.

From self-care practice to self-care habit

This is the bit I am most passionate about.

Because knowing about self-care isn’t necessarily enough.

We can read every book, save every social media post and buy every beautiful journal going…

…but if we never actually practice self-care, nothing changes.

That’s why I believe in small, simple, repeatable habits.

You don’t have to completely overhaul your life.

You could start with five minutes.

Five minutes of breathing.

Five minutes sitting quietly with your coffee.

Five minutes writing in a journal.

Five minutes outside.

Five minutes doing something that makes you happy.

Then do it again tomorrow.

And the next day.

Over time, these little moments can become part of the way you live.

That’s when self-care starts to become a habit rather than another thing on your to-do list.

And something else starts to happen too.

The more consistently we look after ourselves, the more we begin to recognise something incredibly important:

We matter too.

Stage Two: Self-Care Becomes Self-Love

I don’t mean that we suddenly wake up one morning completely in love with ourselves.

I think self-love can grow quietly through the way we treat ourselves.

Every time we make time for ourselves, listen to our body, rest when we need to, set a boundary, speak kindly to ourselves or do something that genuinely makes us feel good, we are sending ourselves a message:

I am worth looking after.

My needs matter.

I matter.

That is why I believe self-care can become self-love.

When looking after yourself becomes something you practice regularly, you begin to build a different relationship with yourself.

You start listening to yourself.

You start understanding yourself.

You start recognising your needs.

You start becoming more aware of what drains you and what fills your cup.

You start treating yourself with a little more kindness.

And slowly, those everyday acts of self-care become acts of self-worth.

This is why I created The Self-Care Habit.

Self-care isn’t selfish

This is another part of my philosophy that I feel very strongly about.

We have been taught, particularly as women, to look after everyone else.

We can become very good at putting ourselves at the bottom of the list.

But looking after yourself isn’t selfish.

You matter too.

Your wellbeing matters.

Your energy matters.

Your happiness matters.

Your body matters.

Your mental and emotional health matter.

Self-care is not about putting yourself above everyone else.

It’s about recognising that you are part of the equation too.

And perhaps that is one of the most important things self-care can teach us.

We deserve our own care and attention too.

Stage Three: From Self-Love, Self-Development Happens

And this is the part of my philosophy that I find really exciting.

Because I don’t believe self-care is about simply staying comfortable.

I believe it can create the foundation for growth.

When we start to understand ourselves and value ourselves, we can begin to ask different questions.

Who am I?

What do I really want?

What makes me happy?

What matters to me?

What do I want my life to look like?

And eventually:

Who do I want to become?

Most importantly:

How do I want to feel?

That is where I believe self-development happens.

Self-development isn’t about fixing yourself because you are broken.

It isn’t about constantly trying to become a better version of yourself because the person you are right now isn’t good enough.

For me, it is about growing because you value yourself enough to explore what is possible.

It might mean learning something new.

Setting a goal.

Changing an old habit.

Trying something that scares you.

Discovering your strengths.

Understanding your patterns.

Becoming more confident.

Trying something you’ve always wanted to do.

Or simply becoming more comfortable with who you are.

Self-care gives us the foundation.

Self-love helps us build a healthier relationship with ourselves.

And from there, self-development gives us the opportunity to grow.

This is why I created The Self-Care Habit

The Self-Care Habit is my little corner of the world where I can explore all of this.

Through my books, my blog, workshops, journals and everything else I create, my aim is to make self-care feel simple, realistic and accessible.

I want to take self-care off the pedestal.

You don’t need to be perfect.

You don’t need loads of time.

You don’t need loads of money.

You don’t need to become a completely different person.

You simply need to start paying attention to yourself.

Start where you are.

Find something that feels good.

Something that supports you.

Something that makes you feel a little calmer, happier, stronger or more connected.

And then…

do it again.

Because that is how habits are created.

And perhaps, without even realising it, that is how we begin changing our relationship with ourselves too.

My philosophy is simple

I don’t believe self-care needs to be complicated.

I don’t believe there is one perfect way to do it.

I don’t believe you have to practice every self-care activity under the sun.

I believe we can explore, experiment and discover what works for us.

And then we can turn those little acts of kindness towards ourselves into habits.

Because self-care isn’t a one-off.

It isn’t something we do when we finally have time.

Self-care is something we can weave into everyday life.

My job is to keep exploring it, keep learning about it, keep practising it and keep sharing what I discover.

And my philosophy?

Make Self-Care a Habit.

Because when looking after yourself becomes part of your everyday life, something starts to change.

Self-care becomes self-love.

And when you understand yourself, value yourself and begin to recognise your own worth, you create the space to grow.

And from there, self-development happens.

It becomes a journey.

Not a perfect journey.

Not a straight line.

But a journey of continually coming back to yourself, listening to what you need, looking after yourself and discovering what is possible.

So, yes…

Make Self-Care a Habit.

Self-Care becomes Self-Love.

And from there, Self-Development Happens.