When I talk about self-care, I tend to focus on the things that don’t cost a penny.
And for good reason.
You don’t need a bank account full of money to look after yourself.
You can practise breathing exercises.
You can journal.
You can use affirmations.
You can go for a walk in nature.
You can meditate.
You can take a few minutes to sit quietly with a cup of tea.
You can make self-care a habit without spending a fortune.
And I absolutely stand by that.
But…
I’ve been thinking about something.
Maybe we’ve gone a little too far in the other direction.
Because while I will always champion free and accessible self-care, there is also a lot to be said for self-care that costs money.
And sometimes, spending money on yourself isn’t frivolous.
Sometimes it’s lovely.
You are allowed to enjoy a little luxury
There seems to be a strange guilt around spending money on ourselves.
We’ll happily spend money on presents for other people.
We’ll buy things for the house.
We’ll spend £50 on dinner.
We’ll pay for our children’s activities.
We’ll replace something that’s broken.
But when it comes to spending money on our own wellbeing, suddenly we start questioning whether we really need it.
Do I really need that massage?
Can I justify the cost of a spa day?
Is reflexology actually worth the money?
Maybe I should just have a bath at home.
And yes, sometimes the bath at home is exactly what you need.
But sometimes…
you deserve the bloody massage.
There is something special about being looked after
One of the things I love about treatments such as massage and spa therapies is that for that period of time, you don’t have to do anything.
Someone else is looking after you.
You don’t have to organise it.
You don’t have to clean up afterwards.
You don’t have to think about what’s for dinner.
You don’t have to answer emails.
You don’t have to look after anyone else.
For an hour, your only job is to receive.
And I think that’s incredibly valuable.
Especially if you’re someone who is constantly doing things for other people.
Sometimes self-care is about doing something for yourself.
But sometimes it’s about allowing someone else to do something for you.
The benefits of massage
Massage is probably one of the most obvious examples.
A good massage can feel like hitting the reset button.
There’s the physical benefit of having muscles worked and tension released, but there’s also something incredibly relaxing about being still while someone else takes care of you.
And let’s be honest…
Sometimes we don’t realise just how much tension we’re carrying until someone starts working on those shoulders.
“Oh… I didn’t realise I was that tense.”
Yes, you did.
Your shoulders have practically been living beside your ears for the last six months.
Massage can be a wonderful way of giving yourself permission to slow down and reconnect with your body.
And that fits perfectly with one of my own self-care commandments:
I will listen to my body.
Reflexology
Reflexology is another treatment that many people include in their self-care routines.
The idea behind reflexology is that specific areas of the feet correspond with different parts of the body, and practitioners apply pressure to these areas.
Whether you go because you love the theory behind reflexology or simply because having your feet massaged feels absolutely fantastic, there is something wonderfully relaxing about the experience.
And again, it’s about making time to stop.
To breathe.
To be still.
To receive.
Sometimes we don’t need to analyse everything.
Sometimes we just need to lie back and think:
“This is nice.”
And that’s enough.
Indian head massage
Now this is another one I think deserves more attention.
Indian head massage focuses on the head, neck, shoulders and upper back, and it can be an incredibly relaxing experience.
If you’re someone who spends a lot of time sitting at a desk, looking at a screen, driving, working or generally carrying the weight of the world around on your shoulders, this kind of treatment can feel wonderful.
And there’s something particularly lovely about the fact that you don’t necessarily need a full-body treatment to feel like you’ve had a proper break.
Sometimes 30 minutes of focused attention can make a difference to how you feel.
Reiki
Reiki is a little different.
It’s a complementary practice involving gentle touch or hands held just above the body, with practitioners describing it as working with energy.
Reiki is calming, comforting or helps create a quiet space where you can switch off, breathe and be present.
And perhaps that’s an important point.
Self-care doesn’t have to be something I would choose for myself.
It’s about discovering what works for you.
And then there’s the spa day…
Oh, the spa day.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying a little luxury.
A warm pool.
A sauna or steam room.
A treatment.
A robe.
A quiet space.
Someone bringing you a cup of tea while you sit around doing absolutely nothing.
Honestly?
Sign me up.
But here’s the important bit.
The value isn’t necessarily in the expensive products or fancy surroundings.
It’s in the permission to stop.
For a few hours, you’re not rushing around.
You’re not cleaning.
You’re not working.
You’re not organising everybody else’s lives.
You’re simply there.
And sometimes that’s exactly what your nervous system needs.
But self-care isn’t about spending more money
I want to be really clear about this.
I’m not suddenly changing my message and telling you that you need to spend £100 on a spa treatment every month to practise proper self-care.
Absolutely not.
Self-care should never become another financial pressure.
You don’t need to spend money to care for yourself.
And if money is tight, there are still hundreds of ways to practise meaningful self-care for free.
Go outside.
Breathe.
Journal.
Meditate.
Listen to music.
Have a bath.
Put your phone away.
Say no.
Rest.
Create boundaries.
Make your favourite meal.
Sit in the garden.
Watch the sunset.
There is so much you can do without spending anything.
But…
free doesn’t automatically mean better.
And spending money doesn’t automatically mean shallow or indulgent.
Sometimes spending money on yourself is an act of self-worth
This is the bit I’ve been thinking about.
If you’re constantly putting yourself at the bottom of the list, deliberately choosing to spend some money on your wellbeing can send yourself a very simple message:
“I’m worth looking after too.”
Not because you bought the treatment.
Not because you spent £200 at a spa.
But because you decided that your wellbeing mattered enough to make space for it.
And that can be powerful.
Of course, we have to be sensible.
Don’t put yourself into debt in the name of self-care.
Don’t spend money you don’t have because social media told you that you need a particular wellness experience.
That’s not self-care.
That’s consumerism dressed up in a dressing gown.
But if you have the money and you want the massage?
Book the massage.
Self-care can be simple AND luxurious
I don’t think we need to choose.
We can have both.
We can have the free stuff:
Breathing.
Journaling.
Affirmations.
Meditation.
Nature.
Rest.
And we can occasionally enjoy the things that cost money:
Massage.
Reflexology.
Indian head massage.
Spa treatments.
Reiki.
A weekend away.
A beautifully relaxing experience.
One doesn’t cancel out the other.
In fact, I think they can complement each other beautifully.
The free habits are the things we can weave into everyday life.
The occasional treatment can be a chance to stop, receive, reset and reconnect.
And both are forms of self-care.
So here’s your permission slip…
You don’t need to justify wanting a little luxury.
You don’t need to feel guilty because you enjoyed being pampered.
You don’t need to turn every self-care activity into something productive.
Sometimes you can simply enjoy it.
You can lie on a massage table.
Close your eyes.
Take a deep breath.
And let someone else take care of you for an hour.
No guilt.
No justification.
No productivity required.
Just receive.
Because self-care isn’t about how much money you spend.
It’s about the relationship you have with yourself.
And sometimes looking after yourself costs nothing.
And sometimes…
it’s worth paying for the bloody massage.
Make Self-Care A Habit
For me, that’s the whole point.
Self-care doesn’t have to look the same every day.
Some days it’s five minutes of breathing.
Some days it’s writing in your journal.
Some days it’s walking outside.
Some days it’s saying no.
And sometimes it’s putting on a fluffy robe, booking a treatment and allowing yourself to be looked after.
It’s all self-care.
The important thing is that you keep coming back to yourself.
Keep listening.
Keep practising.
And keep making self-care a habit.
